How do you know when someone is attracted to you?

Understanding whether someone is into you, is something that many of us have difficulty with. Even when it is blatantly obvious to the world, some of us still seem oblivious to it. Just like reading maps, some people have a better sense of direction than others and are able pick up on the cues. Knowing the signs of physical attraction, means that you forgo the awkwardness when dating and more importantly getting the one you want rather than leaving embarrassed.

While we may be aware when we are flirting, it can sometimes, especially for men, be difficult to ascertain whether the other person is just being nice or is reciprocating our feelings. Seldom, do we or those that we are interested in forgo the dating rituals and make our intentions known from the offset.

So, why do so many of us get it so wrong, and how can we learn to read the signs of attraction?

Eye contact
If you don’t look at someone when you are introduced, it looks as if you are shy, aloof, or have something to hide. But if you stare, that seems threatening and hostile. Most encounters are a mixture of looking at the person and then looking away.

‘If someone likes you, you will notice an increase in eye contact,’ says body language expert Judi James.  ‘They will hold your gaze for a second or two longer than usual.   Then they will keep glancing back to check your expression to see how you are reacting to them.’

‘If you want someone to know you like them, don’t be shy – make eye contact,’ advises Judi. If you don’t, they’ll think you are stuck-up or not interested.

Body language
If you think body language is just about your posture then you have probably missed some important signals. It is all about the look on your face, the way you speak, and the signals you send by how you stand and move.

When standing, the usual distance between people is between 45cm and 1.2m. Closer is a signal of interest. But if the person moves away, it may mean they are not as interested in you as you are in them. Another sign that someone likes you is if they face you with an open body.  That is, they don’t have their arms folded and they don’t fiddle with something while they’re talking to you.

Here are some other signs to look out for:

Females:

• Swing or roll their hips, especially when walking past a man or dancing
• Play with their hair, toss it over their shoulder
• Fiddle with a necklace, bracelet or earrings
• Expose a shoulder by letting a sleeve hang down

Males:

• Fiddle with a tie, play with buttons, collars or sleeves
• Smooth their hair
• Stick their fingers inside a belt
• Rub or pull on an earlobe

Whether you’re too shy to initiate contact or simply not good at picking up on whether a signal was actually a signal or a random gesture, citydaters.co.uk can put you in contact with people around the world that share similar interests. Why guess, let us make it obvious!

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